tonight is the first night since we found out that i was pregnant that i had some UV Blue and mountin dew! NOM! :) i had a drink and nick rubbed my back and the kiddos are sleeping! tonight has been pretty good. :)
YESTERDAY, on the other hand... i ws put into a HORRID mood! this person decided that she was going to go on a tangent for NO reason and started yelling at me about just hoooow horrid nick's mom was... i don't care what she thinks... i asked her to stop 3 times too and... in one ear and out the other! RAWR!! i can make MY OWN decisions about people... WHEN i meet them... or hang out with them enough... i was told horror stories about his dad... from nick himself... and i thought that he was a normal, fast talking, quick subject changing, nice guy... i have no idea why he would tell me those things... but i guess that he had changed a lot... which is a very good thing... but I decided that he was a great guy! i don't need people to tell me HOW to judge people... you can tell me your opinion and then, IF i meet that person, i'll decide how i feel about them... OK?
UGH!!!
let's see... nick is looking for a new job... the boss man is getting really bad again... :( and nick's trying hard not to come home angry. which is a good thing for the babies and i! but kinda not good for him... because he has no real outlet... i feel bad for him... but then again if he's in a bad mood it effects us all.. sigh... he's put a few apps in at different places and some of the places sound like better pay! :)
i'm also trying to loose some weight... with leo i peaked at 205 lbs. ( shudder! ) and now i am at 180! i lost ALL the baby weight PLUS 6 lbs! my goal is 150... for now.... and i want to strengthen myself... i don't want the bulging, vain popping, nothing to me look... but i think that i would benifit, and that the babies would benifit from a healthier mommy! and maybe it'll help encourage my love more! he's lost about 8 lbs since leo was born. he wants to get to 200 lbs or so.
he looked into joining the army and they would want him to be at 180 or less then 22% body fat! he hasn't been that weight since middle school! and he was in a buch of sports in highschool! i wonder how we can get to our goals together... i hope to be at 170 be rorah's party! that would be amaaaaaazing! but i think that 175 is a more realistic goal for my self.... but if you shoot for the stars and you may hit the moon! <3 so look out stars!! i'm gunna fly on by! i have a few apps on my phone to help me " count calories " and monitor my exercises! and another one that has at home, no need for things, exercises, and another with stretches! i am hoping that these will help my back... but i am not going to push it... i don't want to hurt my back, worse... i see my dr on the 24 or 27th... i forget right now... but i do have it written down in my calander!
well i have been typing for a half hour solid.. and my boy is sleeping... i REALLY should go to bed too... tomorrow i am doing hard core cleaning with nick! i guess if i'm not feeding leo... << >> i think he's having another growth spurt! i need pics of him and his cuteness!
well, good night moon! stars... here i come!! =D
Friday, August 5, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
family
there are people in your life that are your blood. you can't help having them in your family... some of your blood family you love dearly and others... you really couldn't care less about....
and there is your chosen family... these are the ones who have been there through thick and thin, or if you had time apart, you found each other again and when you spoke, it was like NO time had passed since your last visit. i have both... i miss who a blood family member was... and i have pretty much totally given up on them... :( i can't completely totally give up on them... i was, or at least i though that i was, very close to them... i know i talk about this a lot... i can't help it... it hurts my heart that this person seems to be totally gone! i guess i have to learn to live with that... :(
but my chosen family... i don't think i could have picked any better! <3 i love them ALL with all my heart! <3 i love watching them interact with my babies! EVEN if they aren't feeling on top of the world. watching these people makes my heart over flow with joy! there is one lady that i miss so very much! she IS my sister. i honestly don't think that we could be any closer... even if we were blood! i get to see her in 21 LOOOONG days! but i have something to look forward too! and she will get to meet her nephew! she is so great with kids! ESPECIALLY MINE! she may not have met my leo yet but i know she will love him JUST as much as our rorah!
today i spent a good hunk of the day at my second mom's. we didn't do much, we talked a little... we were both tired and kinda just sat there... :) it wasn't weird, it wasn't strained, we were kinda falling asleep on each other... that's when you KNOW you belong. i also never really have to ask her, " wanna hold him?" all i really have to do is start to hand him off and she's there ready and willing and excited to hold him. :) that's pretty much what i do with my mommy. :)
some times i wish that the people we knew didn't disappear... be it physically, or mentally, or spiritually...
i am positive this won't be the last you hear about this.... maybe this will help me let go of my hope of that person returning... :,(
and there is your chosen family... these are the ones who have been there through thick and thin, or if you had time apart, you found each other again and when you spoke, it was like NO time had passed since your last visit. i have both... i miss who a blood family member was... and i have pretty much totally given up on them... :( i can't completely totally give up on them... i was, or at least i though that i was, very close to them... i know i talk about this a lot... i can't help it... it hurts my heart that this person seems to be totally gone! i guess i have to learn to live with that... :(
but my chosen family... i don't think i could have picked any better! <3 i love them ALL with all my heart! <3 i love watching them interact with my babies! EVEN if they aren't feeling on top of the world. watching these people makes my heart over flow with joy! there is one lady that i miss so very much! she IS my sister. i honestly don't think that we could be any closer... even if we were blood! i get to see her in 21 LOOOONG days! but i have something to look forward too! and she will get to meet her nephew! she is so great with kids! ESPECIALLY MINE! she may not have met my leo yet but i know she will love him JUST as much as our rorah!
today i spent a good hunk of the day at my second mom's. we didn't do much, we talked a little... we were both tired and kinda just sat there... :) it wasn't weird, it wasn't strained, we were kinda falling asleep on each other... that's when you KNOW you belong. i also never really have to ask her, " wanna hold him?" all i really have to do is start to hand him off and she's there ready and willing and excited to hold him. :) that's pretty much what i do with my mommy. :)
some times i wish that the people we knew didn't disappear... be it physically, or mentally, or spiritually...
i am positive this won't be the last you hear about this.... maybe this will help me let go of my hope of that person returning... :,(
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
ufdah!
so... the other day my comp charger fried it's self or something... i can't get it to work.... and my phone battery won't hold a charge... my electronics seem to be killing themselves for no good reason... it's so annoying! >.<'
but i am able to use nick's step-mom's at night... ~ shrug ~ i guess it's better then nothin... but i get so uncomfortable... i hate it... and i want our own place so bad i cry! but that requires monies... and monies don't seem to like us much... :(
i also want pics taken of my leo... he's getting sooo big already! and we have lots of birthday preperations to do... and want soo much but can't have any of it...
but on a positive note, nick and i had our FIRST offical date inn 8 months!! it was a niiice break! <3 we went to applebee's and to see HP&DHP.2 and i got ALL dolled up! i felt really great about myself! it's not often that i really feel good about myself.... but i got nick in his nice shirt! and we both looked good! ^.^
sounds like tomorrow if i don't go see my mommy, i'll see my other mom! which is nice. have some adult conversation.... talk about these ^ kinds of things, and nothing in particular... :)
this looks like it's going to be one buuuuuusy month... i'm hoping it'll be all fun tho! :)
well i should probably head to bed since leo is sleeping... and i have plans one way or another tomorrow and i don't wanna be totally dead... so...
good night moon
but i am able to use nick's step-mom's at night... ~ shrug ~ i guess it's better then nothin... but i get so uncomfortable... i hate it... and i want our own place so bad i cry! but that requires monies... and monies don't seem to like us much... :(
i also want pics taken of my leo... he's getting sooo big already! and we have lots of birthday preperations to do... and want soo much but can't have any of it...
but on a positive note, nick and i had our FIRST offical date inn 8 months!! it was a niiice break! <3 we went to applebee's and to see HP&DHP.2 and i got ALL dolled up! i felt really great about myself! it's not often that i really feel good about myself.... but i got nick in his nice shirt! and we both looked good! ^.^
sounds like tomorrow if i don't go see my mommy, i'll see my other mom! which is nice. have some adult conversation.... talk about these ^ kinds of things, and nothing in particular... :)
this looks like it's going to be one buuuuuusy month... i'm hoping it'll be all fun tho! :)
well i should probably head to bed since leo is sleeping... and i have plans one way or another tomorrow and i don't wanna be totally dead... so...
good night moon
Friday, July 29, 2011
what a long strange trip it's been....
well... it's 1:34 am to be exact... lol and I sit here pumping away... i just popped in " The Odd Couple" and chatting with my sister, seeing what I reach this morning... it's usually 6 oz at this point... but my DARLING Leonardo Ray-James has been sleeping pretty much since 9:30 pm! he is 1 month and 1 week ( at 6:16 this morning) and an amazingly WONDERFUL addition to my family! Honestly, I don't think i could be happier with my family then i am right now. :)
my sister that i am talking to has moved far away! and i miss her so very much! but chatting with her helps a lot. but i miss seeing her face and hugging her and torturing OUR boys! and standing in the kitchen... saying nothing, or watching Jack... with our little love! that's code for " The Nightmare Before Christmas". roarh love that movie and it reminds her of Auny! i have a jack key chain that she plays with them and looks at them for a long time. i think that she's trying to remember the movie and her auny by association. we look at pictures a lot, i want to make sure that her little 2 year old heart doesn't miss her too much!
my rorah, 2 at the end of aug... it's amazing! she is sooo smart and so SO protective of HER leo. i think and hope that they have a wonderful relationship!
it is now 1:52 am... and i am finally done pumpin... 7 1/2 oz... that's prreeeetty good.... my babies are all quietly snoring... Oscar and the boys are freaking out over Felix's arrival... or... i should say they are trying to be cool and pretending NOT to freak out... ^.^
i will try to post something every night... i'll try... tomorrow... or today... how ever you wanna look at it... is my brother Felix's grad party, and our car club is going to elko speedway. Nick's gunna have fun! but i can't go... no one to watch the kids, oh well... such is the sad life of a new mommy... it's gunna be a long day... <3
i'll talk more tomorrow...
ni ni moon!
my sister that i am talking to has moved far away! and i miss her so very much! but chatting with her helps a lot. but i miss seeing her face and hugging her and torturing OUR boys! and standing in the kitchen... saying nothing, or watching Jack... with our little love! that's code for " The Nightmare Before Christmas". roarh love that movie and it reminds her of Auny! i have a jack key chain that she plays with them and looks at them for a long time. i think that she's trying to remember the movie and her auny by association. we look at pictures a lot, i want to make sure that her little 2 year old heart doesn't miss her too much!
my rorah, 2 at the end of aug... it's amazing! she is sooo smart and so SO protective of HER leo. i think and hope that they have a wonderful relationship!
it is now 1:52 am... and i am finally done pumpin... 7 1/2 oz... that's prreeeetty good.... my babies are all quietly snoring... Oscar and the boys are freaking out over Felix's arrival... or... i should say they are trying to be cool and pretending NOT to freak out... ^.^
i will try to post something every night... i'll try... tomorrow... or today... how ever you wanna look at it... is my brother Felix's grad party, and our car club is going to elko speedway. Nick's gunna have fun! but i can't go... no one to watch the kids, oh well... such is the sad life of a new mommy... it's gunna be a long day... <3
i'll talk more tomorrow...
ni ni moon!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
ugh!
today i have to go and get mad at my local government center! i've been waiting for FAAAAR too long to get my M.A. for me and rorah... the clinic wants $100 down and i have been able to skim by but this is ridiculous! the state is suppose to take care of AT LEAST my girl... but when i was pregnant with Aurorah they got me on M.A. the same day i applied... but that was in a different county... but why should that make a difference? in my opinion it shouldn't. ugh! i hate the government programs sometimes...
Monday, January 17, 2011
it's been a while
well, like my title says, it's been a few months since I wrote anything down... it doesn't help that the cat killed my power cord... but it's all better now so I am going to try and do this more... it's probably good to try and get things off my mind. even if no one reads it... i HONESTLY don't care... :)
it's Martin Luther King JR. day... 4:35 PM. and i am listening to Arthur, while my girl sucks fingers and holds her Ohbo and watches intently. she is so funny, last night she started saying "aamie" for armie! she tried to put her aamie in her coat, but she was putting in her hood. she was getting so frustrated with her self and all i could do was laugh. she makes even my worst day happy.
i am also 17 weeks and 6 days pregnant! i am due june 21st. i have been feeling movements for about a month. it's a LOT earlier then it was with Aurorah, but that is typical of second pregnancies, from what i understand. :) we are going to find out the gender with this one... i had SOO much fun not knowing with Rorah, but i promised nick that we would know with our second. i'm excited to find out Feb. 3rd, i wonder if it'll be a boy, or a girl... there have been A LOOOOT of boy guesses. some girl guesses, but lots of boys. well what ever it is it's a little bugger! lots of jabbing!
the past few days i haven't been feeling well... Nick thinks that i got a little food poisoning... i don't know, but i'm feeling a tiny better.... it all just sucks... blah! i haven't left the room... much less the bed unless i absolutely have to.. it sucks, yesterday i was trying to do stuff and i got all hot, lightheaded, dizzy... i was obviously NOOT ready to go and do cleaning and what not... ugh.. nick has been so nice and he's been trying to take care of me, and it's been nice :) he also has stepped up with rorah... which has been needed.
i think i am going to lay down with a heating pad on my back...
it's Martin Luther King JR. day... 4:35 PM. and i am listening to Arthur, while my girl sucks fingers and holds her Ohbo and watches intently. she is so funny, last night she started saying "aamie" for armie! she tried to put her aamie in her coat, but she was putting in her hood. she was getting so frustrated with her self and all i could do was laugh. she makes even my worst day happy.
i am also 17 weeks and 6 days pregnant! i am due june 21st. i have been feeling movements for about a month. it's a LOT earlier then it was with Aurorah, but that is typical of second pregnancies, from what i understand. :) we are going to find out the gender with this one... i had SOO much fun not knowing with Rorah, but i promised nick that we would know with our second. i'm excited to find out Feb. 3rd, i wonder if it'll be a boy, or a girl... there have been A LOOOOT of boy guesses. some girl guesses, but lots of boys. well what ever it is it's a little bugger! lots of jabbing!
the past few days i haven't been feeling well... Nick thinks that i got a little food poisoning... i don't know, but i'm feeling a tiny better.... it all just sucks... blah! i haven't left the room... much less the bed unless i absolutely have to.. it sucks, yesterday i was trying to do stuff and i got all hot, lightheaded, dizzy... i was obviously NOOT ready to go and do cleaning and what not... ugh.. nick has been so nice and he's been trying to take care of me, and it's been nice :) he also has stepped up with rorah... which has been needed.
i think i am going to lay down with a heating pad on my back...
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