randomness and some sadness

i haven't had much to say as of late. But i have been thinking that i should write something the past few days...  hmmm...

i did get a job and the Claire's close by which is awesome. it's a few day's a week for a couple hours at a time, it's not a lot but right now, but i am not in real need of a lot right now. i am just enjoying what i have. my first day was wednesday the 17th. my day at work it's self was good LOOOTS of learning and quick! but my morning was rough... my boy, my fat, well loved, sweet Zues passed away... he lived with my mom, because that was his 4th home and i didn't want to move him again. it took a long time for him to feel safe. we don't know how old he was since he was rescued from a VERY abusive home. he would steal food out of your hand at first since he didn't know when he was going to eat again. my dad couldn't hug any of us girls, because he would bark like crazy, we think that he was abused by a big guy and the lady tried to make him feel safe, that's my thought process. i guess that he was not himself the few days before. he didn't even bark at my grampa, and he always barked at him. always. but he passed away at 8:45 am. and i bawled. i rushed to go say my good bye before work. i always drop my issues at the door for work so you would never guess if there was something wrong...  but i am so sad, i miss him so sooo much... i try to put it out of my mind for rorah.. during the day she doesn't need a saddened mommy. i always put me last... it's probably not healthyfor me... but that has been me my whole life...

i should spoil myself... i need a pick me up...

meh...

good night